By: Agnes Sikuku
Agnes Sikuku comes to the defence of Luhya men arguing that they make the best husband don't merely hang on helicopters for free rides
Luhya men- I have come to discover-make the best husbands. A Luhya man can’t be compared to men from other ethnic tribes. All is not lost after the Luo men took “the most romantic men” trophy within our borders. The most important thing, any woman will tell you, is not to be romanced but to be married. After all, we all seek to belong and not just to be a man’s romance. The benefits of marrying a Luhya man are many. I will be generous to point out the greatness of Luhya men.
They take charge of their women
They know what they want from the woman and will never hesitate to ask for it. They don’t play the cat and mouse game other men play. When they are sure you are the woman they want as a wife and mother to their children, they take you to their mama. They let the whole clan know about you. Most alpha male are Luhya men.
It’s on very rare occasion that you will hear of a luhya man hiding a wife from his people. We know men from other communities who can marry you but not even the fly that licks his wound knows you. As a wife married to a Luhya man, all you have to do is bore him children. That’s your gate pass to the family honor and recognition. In case you think am just filling words to hit the 700 mark, look at what happened at Jacob Juma’s funeral. Those two women were recognized by Juma’s brother and given a chance to address the mourners.
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It’s needless to point out what happened during Kajwangs funeral. No family member bothered about Faith, what she did or didn’t do with Kajwang or her children for that matter. In case they want another wife they came home and say: “Behold, here cometh your co-wife”. A married woman will tell you that is better than having a man run up and down with faceless women.
Away from polygamous Luhya men, let’s have a look at those who are more enlightened, Christians that read the monogamy script. Their love is like the love we see on soap operas. They are not chauvinistic. Many buy groceries for their wives, cook and watch movies with their women, protect them from mouthy family members and help the kids with homework. I can bet that no man can outdo a modernized Luhya man in his romantic show.
Luhya men like their families to live large
When he marries you, a Luhya man will hurry to buy you a piece of land. They hate living in rental houses or buying a ka-matchbox sized plot for the family. He prefers his offspring’s to eat right from the farm. While he’s entitled to his portion of land from his family, he always has the brains to buy his own.
The greatness and sure indicator of a man’s love is by how he protects his woman and provides for her
They hate it when their women are unprotected. That’s why he will ensure that if he’s not living with you, then you will be living near his parents. The parents and his extended family will tease you once in a while but all will be well. You will never lack anything. Your disagreements will be solved amicably by his family, who on many occasions will be your greatest advisors.
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Most Luhya communities are traditional. They prefer to observe the marriage rites. Even if you had a church wedding or a civil wedding they will still pay dowry. This is very good especially to those of us who remember this: In our father’s house, there are few cows. If it wasn’t so, we wouldn’t be making a mental calculation of how many cows they will have when our dowry is paid.
Many people will say that cooking for Luhya men is tedious since they can’t do without Ugali or chicken on their menu. These are lies promoted by those who don’t wish the luhya community well.
The cooking is a small price to pay for being with a strong man. Not once has it been reported that a Luhya man has been hit by his woman. This is a show of strength. We know of other men who are beaten endlessly and mercilessly by their women.
In case you still doubt if Luhya men make the best husbands, ask yourself why Indian women are our in laws. Their supposed prowess in bed is beyond my scope. I will leave that for individuals to give testimony and sexologists. Marry a Luhya man and see how he shows you the world and makes you his princess.